Tuesday, July 30, 2013

google this

if you're anything like me when you're bored, you google random crap on the internet.  but have you ever typed in one word or phrase to see what it automatically brings up?
i did today, and guess what i found out?
everyone is thinking about pregnancy, ovulation, iphones, eggs and the end of the world.  oh and turtles.

let's have some fun shall we.

how do you know

#1: how do you know if your pregnant?
well guys this is an easy one.  you go to wal-mart, buy a pregnancy test, go home, pee on said pregnancy test, and there ya go...

#2: how do you know when your in love?
when you are able to fart in front of each other without feeling embarrassed or giving a shit.

#3: how do you know when a girl likes you?
if a girl "likes" all of your facebook posts, comments on all of you pictures, and retweets all of your twitter posts, i'd say she probably has a thing for you.

#4. how do you know when eggs are bad?
they smell

what do

#1: what do turtles eat?
i have no idea.

#2: what do box turtles eat?
probably the same thing that turtles eat...

#3: what do tadpoles eat?
again i have no clue.

#4: what do dreams mean? 
i'm sure cinderella would know.  her dreams are wishes her heart makes.  ask her.

when will


#1: when will ios 7 be released?
hopefully soon so i can stop hearing about it

#2: when will the world end?
 not today :)

#3: when will i see you again?
um, you're asking google?

#4: when will i ovulate?
well dear, that depends.  but i wouldn't rely on google to tell you that.

where do

#1: where do bed bugs come from?
they live in your bed.  if you have bed bugs it's probably time to buy a new bed.

#2: where do tigers live?
well if i had to guess, i'd say they live in africa.

#3: where do fruit flies come from?
fruit

#4: where do chipmunks live?
last time i checked it was trees.  could be wrong though.

will i be able

#1: will i be able to breastfeed?
well that's a question you will have to answer yourself.  google doesn't know your boobs.

#2. will i be able to retire?
well i would hope so one day.

#3: will i be able to grow a beard?
if you're a man i say sure why not.  if you're a female, i'm a little concerned as to why you're even asking google in the first place.

#4: will i be able to dunk?
depends on what you're dunking.  a ball into a hoop?  a donut in coffee?  an oreo on milk?  i would say those are all probably possible.

why is

#1: why is the sky blue?
because God is definitely a tarheels fan.

#2: why is the ocean salty?
well probably because it has salt in it.

#3: why is my poop green?
really?!? i have no words.

#4: why is youtube so slow?
because everybody and their mom is trying to look up the most recent stupid video.

__________________________________

happy tuesday everybody :)

8 comments:

  1. you have me cracking up! this is awesome.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...best one "will i be able to dunk" i am down for oreos in milk for sure - i can def. do that one!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this post! Such a good idea and your answers are hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahaha omg this is hilarious! I've also learned that apparently most people on Google don't know the difference between "your" and "you're" hehe ;) Your responses to all of these have me rolling over here, girl!!

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  5. haha this is so funny. I may start doing this on the regular when I'm bored at work. I usually just youtube the shizz out of everything!

    ReplyDelete
  6. this is amazing! also, now i really know what i said to you before - you're better to me than Google!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Why is my poop green? That one made me snort.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...