i had this big vma post all ready to go today, and then i changed my mind. i could sit here and write about how
slutty ridiculous miley cyrus looked last night, or how i screamed like a little girl when nsync came onstage. or even when taylor swift called out harry styles. but i'm not going to do any of that (oh wait i just did).
anyway, moving on...
today i'm going to talk to you about friendships. the good, the bad and the ugly.
i had a moment today. one of those, oh crap i'm feeling anxious moments. i hate those! let me tell you why. i have an issue. i feel like the friendships i had a few years ago aren't there anymore. and i don't mean to sit here and whine like a little girl, but sometimes i feel like i'm in middle school all over again.
i have certain friendships where i'm constantly feeling the need to fit in, or feeling like i'm not "cool" enough or "perfect" enough for them. i don't drive a super fancy car, or live in a gigantic mansion, and i'm definitely not rich. and sometimes i feel like i need to be to keep certain friendships going.
other times i feel like i'm the "hellion" in certain situations. i don't listen to Christian music 24/7. i don't go to church every wednesday and sunday. i enjoy my alcoholic beverages every once in a while, and yes i say a cuss word when i'm frustrated sometimes. there are times where i feel out of place because of the lifestyle i live.
and then there are the friends i have who like me for who i am. they don't judge me for having a glass of wine, or saying the word "shit" once in a while. and if i lived in a shack they wouldn't care any less. they accept me for the way i am.
and then it hit me. i'm at that age that my mother warned me about when i was younger. the "if you can count your close friends on one hand consider yourself lucky" age. yup i'm there. it's happened, i've hit it.
so where am i getting at with this post you ask? i promise it has a point.
if something makes you unhappy or feel anxious, then you probably need to get rid of it. get rid of the negativity in your life. and no i'm not telling you to pull the "we aren't friends anymore" card. but if there is a certain group of friends who you feel out of place with, then they probably aren't real friends.
it's time for me to focus on the positive things in my life. the people who love me for me, and not someone they think i am. the ones who don't care if i go to lunch without my makeup on. those are the friends to hang onto.
i have so much to be thankful for. i have a loving husband, loving family, sweet little fur babies, a great job, and wonderful friends who i can be myself around. i'm tired of trying to fit in. i mean come on i'm 27, if i don't fit in with certain people now, i'm never going to.
so my message to you is cherish the true friendships you have. stop trying to be friends with someone who you probably shouldn't be friends with. listen to your heart, and if you can count your true friends on one hand, consider yourself lucky.
thanks mom ;-)