Friday, November 22, 2013

my struggle with acne

eeek didn't mean to scare y'all :)  this is what i look like almost every night.  why?  because i struggle with...  ACNE!

at nearly 28 years old, you would think that my struggles with acne would be long gone by now.  WRONG!  actually to be honest, i didn't start struggling with acne until about 4 years ago.  i hardly ever had it as a teenager.  i would have the occasional pimple here and there, but nothing to freak out about.  in the summer of 2009 i woke up one morning and noticed that i had a few more pimples on my face than i normally do.  so i did my usual "i have a huge zit" routine and covered them with makeup.  the next morning it was worse.   throughout that summer my face became worse and worse.  huge cystic acne all over.  it was a nightmare.  i seriously could have been on a proactive commercial.  it got so bad that i would go a few days without wearing makeup and just cover my face in neosporin. 
something in my life made my skin hate me!  i have a few theories as to what caused this change in my skin.  earlier that summer LT and i broke up after being together for 3 years, and i stopped taking my birth control.  for no reason at all other than the fact that i was lazy and never took it on time anyway.  so with the stress of a breakup and a rocky relationship, and suddenly stopping a hormonal medicine that i had been taking off and on since i was 18, my face suddenly said "screw you" i'm gonna make your life miserable!  and that's just what it did. 
that august i made another life changing decision and decided to get my first "big girl" job in the big city.  i packed up my stuff and moved to atlanta.  and guess what... the acne got worse.  i struggled with it for a few months and literally tried everything.  i tried different medicines and creams.  i tried homemade masks and spot treatments.  sometimes i would even hold my blog dryer over my big ones so the heat would help the pain. 
a few years went by, and i started to get used to having breakouts all the time.  it was a part of my everyday life.  i eventually moved back to north carolina, got back together with LT and we were engaged by Christmas of 2010.  we found out that his father had terminal cancer on Christmas day of that year, and with the stress of that news, and trying to plan a wedding, my acne decided to flare up again.  it would flare up, and then get better for a couple of weeks, and then flare up again.  it was a constant struggle.  his dad passed away in june of 2011 and we were married that september.  thankfully on my wedding day my face actually behaved.  but that winter it started to get bad again.  i remember one night looking in the mirror and being so disgusted with my face that i started hitting myself.  slapping myself so hard that my face turned red.  that's when LT and i decided we had to do something.  he was concerned for me, not just because of my acne.  he loved me no matter what i looked like, he was concerned for my well being.  i hated my face.  i hated to even look in the mirror.
i talked to a dermatologist in the spring of 2012 who put me on an antibiotic, and we determined that i was struggling with hormonal acne.  after a couple of months on the antibiotic i noticed that it started to get better so i stopped taking it... big mistake.  it decided to flare up again.  i talked with LT and he said that he was willing to do anything to help me feel better about myself.  a friend of mine came over one night and started telling me about the facial that she had just had.  so i told LT about it, and I decided to call the next day and book one for myself. 
the day i went to my appointment i was so excited.  this was my last hope.  after trying literally everything, i hoped that this would kick-start the healing process.  she was amazing!  she gave my face a deep clean, and examined it under a bright light so she could see exactly what we were dealing with.  she said it was indeed hormonal acne.  it wasn't my diet, or the makeup i was wearing, it was something deep down inside that was causing these flare ups.  some type of hormonal imbalance.  the facial was amazing.  my face felt so clean healthy right after.  she decided to help me change up my routine.  she put me on a facial routine called dermalogica medi bac.  it's made specifically for adults who struggle with this type of acne.  she also put me on a new make up routine.  bare minerals.  even though it wasn't the makeup i was using that was causing the acne, it wasn't necessarily helping it.  i needed something a little lighter so it wouldn't clog my pores as much.
after being on this new routine for about a month i started to notice a difference.  the cystic acne had started to be less noticeable, and my breakouts weren't near as bad as they used to be.  i started getting regular facials, and between that and my new routine, i was well on my way to clear skin.
today i still struggle with breakouts.  they aren't as bad as they used to be, but i still get them.  i'm so thankful for my esthetician.  she has helped me get my confidence back.  my face isn't perfect, but it's ten times better than it used to be.  i still struggle, and my husband makes fun of me because i don't like to put my makeup on with full light.  only because i feel like the full light shows more flaws.  even if i don't have a breakout, i still can't use the overhead light.  i guess it's habit. 
if anybody is struggling with acne, please feel free to talk to me about it.  i understand what it's like to go through it, and to feel so self conscious about your face.  i would love to help someone who is dealing with this type of thing.  i am so thankful for this blog, because it's a place where i can talk about my struggles, and help others.
happy friday loves :)

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

my "i like this so i'll pin it, but i'll probably never do it" list

so what was i doing while i wasn't blogging you ask?  spending every single day and night on pinterest.  every night when we lay down in bed, my husband gets on his phone to chive and what do i do?  i play on pinterest.  it's pretty bad y'all.  i've become more obsessed with pinterest than i am of teen mom... which may i add the new season is NOT my favorite, i'm not a fan...

so anyway badk on track.  let's take a peek into my pinterest account to see what i've been pinning lately....

stuff for my house that i could probably never afford, or have time to actually do

clothes that i wish i owned, but probably never will

hair that i love but will never have to guts to do get done myself

and there you have it... just a few of my "i wish" pins lol.  happy hump day everyone :)

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

is it too early??

y'all i am patiently waiting to put my tree up.  i usually wait until after thanksgiving, but this year i think i may do it this weekend...  my husband is trying to change my mind, but i'm ignoring him :)
it seems like each year, more and more people are celebrating christmas earlier and earlier.  next year it will probably start in september.  not kidding!  i can remember when i was little we didn't put up our christmas decorations until the 2nd week in december.  now as soon as november hits, i can't help but want to start getting out my decor, and listen to christmas music.  and let's not forget the christmas movies.  this year i started watching home alone in october!  i know i know, it's too early right?  but i can't help it!  i love this time of year.  everyone just seems to be in a better mood.  how many of you already have your tree up?  is it too early for me to put it up this weekend?? please say no :)

Monday, November 18, 2013

back in the swing of things

hey friends!  it's been a while.  i'm finally feeling like a human again after having food poisoning a few weeks ago and a horrible head cold.  i've been pretty miserable lately.  but yesterday i decided to actually shave my legs and paint my nails.  my legs went from feeling prickly (like any normal leg that hasn't been shaved in 2 or 3 days) to fuzzy.  like a bear.  an actual bear.  it was bad y'all.  i've been in such a slump lately.  not feeling like myself.  i'm usually bouncy and most of the time i have a great attitude about life, but i just haven't been that person.  it makes me so sad, because i feel like when i go through slumps like this, i waste so much of my time.  time that i could be spending with friends or family.  instead i spend time doing absolutely nothing.  now that the Christmas season is quickly approaching, i'm starting to feel like myself again.  i'm excited to put up my tree, and decorate my house for the season.  i'm excited about spending quality time with family, and making memories that will last a lifetime.  it's those positive things that help my attitude.  

so now that i'm feeling slightly better, i'm ready to start blogging again.  i've missed my blog friends, and those connections i make with so many women.  blogging is a way for me to open up about things that are going on in my life.  and i'll be honest writing this post today has made me feel ten times better :)  so yay!  i'm back!  whoop whoop!!


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