Friday, November 22, 2013
my struggle with acne
at nearly 28 years old, you would think that my struggles with acne would be long gone by now. WRONG! actually to be honest, i didn't start struggling with acne until about 4 years ago. i hardly ever had it as a teenager. i would have the occasional pimple here and there, but nothing to freak out about. in the summer of 2009 i woke up one morning and noticed that i had a few more pimples on my face than i normally do. so i did my usual "i have a huge zit" routine and covered them with makeup. the next morning it was worse. throughout that summer my face became worse and worse. huge cystic acne all over. it was a nightmare. i seriously could have been on a proactive commercial. it got so bad that i would go a few days without wearing makeup and just cover my face in neosporin.
something in my life made my skin hate me! i have a few theories as to what caused this change in my skin. earlier that summer LT and i broke up after being together for 3 years, and i stopped taking my birth control. for no reason at all other than the fact that i was lazy and never took it on time anyway. so with the stress of a breakup and a rocky relationship, and suddenly stopping a hormonal medicine that i had been taking off and on since i was 18, my face suddenly said "screw you" i'm gonna make your life miserable! and that's just what it did.
that august i made another life changing decision and decided to get my first "big girl" job in the big city. i packed up my stuff and moved to atlanta. and guess what... the acne got worse. i struggled with it for a few months and literally tried everything. i tried different medicines and creams. i tried homemade masks and spot treatments. sometimes i would even hold my blog dryer over my big ones so the heat would help the pain.
a few years went by, and i started to get used to having breakouts all the time. it was a part of my everyday life. i eventually moved back to north carolina, got back together with LT and we were engaged by Christmas of 2010. we found out that his father had terminal cancer on Christmas day of that year, and with the stress of that news, and trying to plan a wedding, my acne decided to flare up again. it would flare up, and then get better for a couple of weeks, and then flare up again. it was a constant struggle. his dad passed away in june of 2011 and we were married that september. thankfully on my wedding day my face actually behaved. but that winter it started to get bad again. i remember one night looking in the mirror and being so disgusted with my face that i started hitting myself. slapping myself so hard that my face turned red. that's when LT and i decided we had to do something. he was concerned for me, not just because of my acne. he loved me no matter what i looked like, he was concerned for my well being. i hated my face. i hated to even look in the mirror.
i talked to a dermatologist in the spring of 2012 who put me on an antibiotic, and we determined that i was struggling with hormonal acne. after a couple of months on the antibiotic i noticed that it started to get better so i stopped taking it... big mistake. it decided to flare up again. i talked with LT and he said that he was willing to do anything to help me feel better about myself. a friend of mine came over one night and started telling me about the facial that she had just had. so i told LT about it, and I decided to call the next day and book one for myself.
the day i went to my appointment i was so excited. this was my last hope. after trying literally everything, i hoped that this would kick-start the healing process. she was amazing! she gave my face a deep clean, and examined it under a bright light so she could see exactly what we were dealing with. she said it was indeed hormonal acne. it wasn't my diet, or the makeup i was wearing, it was something deep down inside that was causing these flare ups. some type of hormonal imbalance. the facial was amazing. my face felt so clean healthy right after. she decided to help me change up my routine. she put me on a facial routine called dermalogica medi bac. it's made specifically for adults who struggle with this type of acne. she also put me on a new make up routine. bare minerals. even though it wasn't the makeup i was using that was causing the acne, it wasn't necessarily helping it. i needed something a little lighter so it wouldn't clog my pores as much.
after being on this new routine for about a month i started to notice a difference. the cystic acne had started to be less noticeable, and my breakouts weren't near as bad as they used to be. i started getting regular facials, and between that and my new routine, i was well on my way to clear skin.
today i still struggle with breakouts. they aren't as bad as they used to be, but i still get them. i'm so thankful for my esthetician. she has helped me get my confidence back. my face isn't perfect, but it's ten times better than it used to be. i still struggle, and my husband makes fun of me because i don't like to put my makeup on with full light. only because i feel like the full light shows more flaws. even if i don't have a breakout, i still can't use the overhead light. i guess it's habit.
if anybody is struggling with acne, please feel free to talk to me about it. i understand what it's like to go through it, and to feel so self conscious about your face. i would love to help someone who is dealing with this type of thing. i am so thankful for this blog, because it's a place where i can talk about my struggles, and help others.
happy friday loves :)