Friday, February 14, 2014

in need of happiness

shame on me for neglecting my blog.   i told myself at the beginning of january that i was no longer going to neglect my wonderful blog that i have worked so hard on.

what is wrong with me??  i know exactly what it is... i'm in another thing i like to call a "slump". 

on tuesday i was sitting at my desk doing my usual facebook stalking, when i saw an article that a friend posted about a dog.  not just any old dog, a dog that spent many months in a shelter and kept getting ignored by most everybody who walked by his kennel.  the picture is what did it though.  as soon as i clicked on the link for the article, i saw it.  the image of a sad dog in a corner with his head down.  that's when it started.  the tears automatically started falling down my cheeks.  REALLY?!?
really, is something this small really making me bawl like a baby?  and then it really hit me.  everything that i had been holding in for weeks finally came to the surface.  sadness, hurt, hormonal issues, marital issues, money issues... should i go on?

after the tears came anger.  i was angry at the world, angry at my husband, angry at the weather (for keeping me away from work so i don't get paid) and most of all angry at myself.

that's probably the hardest thing admit is that you are angry with yourself.  usually i try to blame it on others, but blaming things on myself is a whole different story.

most of you probably know that i've always struggled with hormonal issues.  i was diagnosed with pmdd about a year ago.  and for those of you who are not aware, pmdd stands for "premenstrual dysphoric disorder" or in other words, "the crazy hormonal bitch 2 weeks out of the month" disease.

so between that, the weather, being sick, and no money coming in... i've been a complete mess!  and my poor husband is feeling the rath.

so after my crying episode the other day, i decided i needed to get out of this slump that i've been in.  i made another appointment with my therapist that day, came home that night and gave myself a facial and a manicure.  
the next two days were snow days for us.  we weren't going anywhere in ten inches of snow.  so me and LT just laid around and relaxed for a couple of days.  very much needed rest :)

so from today on i'm going to be focusing more on making myself happy, and strengthening my relationship with my husband.
and it's time to stop neglecting my blog.

so to all of my blogger buddies out there, i've missed you, and happy valentines day :)

1 comment:

  1. Bless your heart!! I hope you enjoyed your "me" time!! Hope you had a nice Valentines/weekend!



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